Monday, July 9, 2012

The Rest is Still Unwritten

As most of you know but many will not remember, next week is my two year anniversary. Not the anniversary that I wanted to celebrate after all, who wants to celebrate two years of fertility issues? Not this girl. I keep contemplating giving it up. Then I remember, dang it's not even my decision. I can pretend to "stop trying" like that is going to hurt the feelings of the big guy, but HE isn't worried about me "stopping" in the least. So pretty much this is where I stand. What am I "doing"? WEll I'm moving into a new house, I'm taking vacations, I just graduated school, I'm working full time and in my spare 30 minutes a week...I shop. Other than that, I have no plan. I'm not sure how to proceed from here. I don't exactly have a guide book for this kinda thing...or maybe I do! 

Micah 7:7 ESV / 25  

But as for me, I will look to the Lord; I will wait for the God of my salvation; my God will hear me. 

Habakkuk 2:3 ESV / 17   

For still the vision awaits its appointed time; it hastens to the end—it will not lie. If it seems slow, wait for it; it will surely come; it will not delay. 

Psalm 145:16 ESV / 9 

You open your hand; you satisfy the desire of every living thing. 

**For this child I prayed, and the LORD has granted me my petition that I made to him.**

Looks like I have a few things to go by! And there are only 1000 more behind those. So to satisfy your curiosity, I am still doing nothing. Don't give me too much credit. Sometimes I have a bad attitude and act like a brat. Sometimes I cringe and the baby shower invites. Sometimes I see pregnant women in public and stare as if my life depended on it. But I learned early on, that begrudging others of this joy was not how I wanted this to play out. I dealt with this just like everything else I go. GO BIG OR GO HOME. So I began hand making baby gifts, and going to every shower I was invited to and babysitting more than I ever have and just enjoying everybody Else's JOY! And I'm now less resentful because of it. The cringes have gotten less and less. The thoughts have slowed and I am actually truly able to be grateful for everybody Else's baby joy! So, I guess my time will come! One way or the other.
P.S. Can I borrow somebodies UTERUS? Please and thank u! 

Have a good week. I'll be relaxing in my new pad but for now, the rest is still unwritten!

 In a couple with normal fertility, there's a 20 per cent chance of falling pregnant each month. After 2 years, 94 per cent will be pregnant and the average time to pregnancy is 4 months.

I have beat every single odd so far~ I'm special like that! =)